Archive for September, 2007

Mock Praise Poem

dsc05937.jpgMy lovely fiance, Ashton, was recently assigned to write a “mock praise” poem. I found it humorous, so here it is.

The Smiling Theologian
Men long have sought the everlasting Way,
From which so many saints refused to sway.
Martyrs, for the Christ they so adored,
Have oft been murdered, beaten, and abhorred.
‘Twas faith that taught them how to persevere,
And, from this Earth to keep no souvenir.
They felt, not fear, but joy in being hung,
For they, like Paul, considered this life dung.
And o’er the years great saints have kept the Cause,
Yet now is one who must not want applause.
His fame throughout the fifty states is read,
And all the world revolves behind his head.
Though at eternity some knit their brows,
He teaches them to live their best lives now.
No theologian boasts such feigned delight,
Nor does one wear a smile of such pure white.
To touching stories, he may oft allude,
But never bore a thousand ears with Truth.
Before the Lord, he says to bend our knees,
To rise again and live a life of ease —
A life which surely holds no earthly trials,
And simply leaves its faith in bare church aisles.
Followers are promised wealth and fame,
And he, above all else, may bear this name.
He is well-versed in all absurdity,
And holds the precious gift of heresy.
Best known for wav’ring, ‘specially on King,
You ask his name? Of course, the great Osteen!

-By: Ashton Mikell


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